Excessive blushing can make even the most confident among us become shy and reclusive. Before blushing became a real problem, you may have been the life of the party, making friends wherever you went. Now that excessive blushing has become a problem, you may be having a hard time simply running basic errands, avoiding even minimal conversations with people you normally would have had no problem chatting with.
You may have been surprised to realize one day that you have become shy. For people who have been outgoing all of their lives, shyness is foreign territory. Like excessive blushers are given advice on how not to blush or how not to be bothered by blushing by people who don’t suffer from excessive blushing, people who are shy are given advice on how not to be shy by people who aren’t shy. As you’ve learned while being a sufferer of excessive blushing, sometimes this advice is actually quite helpful, while other times it completely misses the mark.
Shyness is sometimes simply a personality trait. Some people are just naturally quiet, truly preferring to observe from a distance rather than be in the middle of the activity. People who aren’t shy sometimes misinterpret this type of shyness as the person being reclusive or unhappy. However, the naturally shy person is often having just as much fun watching the activity as a more naturally social person is in creating the activity. They would often be just as uncomfortable in the middle of everything as a naturally friendly person would be if forced to sit alone on the sidelines.
In many cases, however, shyness isn’t a natural personality trait. Just like you may have developed shyness as an excessive blusher, shyness is often developed as a defense mechanism in people who aren’t naturally shy. Sometimes this secondary shyness happened so long ago that no one remembers that person being anything but shy, until they think back. Think about the shy or less outgoing people in your life that you’ve known for a long time. Was your sister the social butterfly of the neighborhood until she turned 12 and had to get glasses, braces and grew to be a head taller than all the boys all in the same summer? Was your best friend always the life of the party until he gained a lot of weight as an adult and seemed to withdraw from everyone? This type of shyness, which is often triggered by embarrassment or self-consciousness, can really throw naturally friendly people for a loop. Since shyness is a new experience that may be difficult to deal with, it can keep people who suffer from excessive blushing in a spiral that begins to make them feel increasingly more self-conscious.
Shyness, like excessive facial blushing, is something that can only be understood if it’s experienced. If you’re naturally friendly, sudden shyness brought on by excessive blushing can make you feel even more distanced from your true self. By breaking the shyness cycle and learning to work around the shyness you’ve developed, you can start to feel a bit more like your old self again.